I don't know a better way to explain what living in Japan feels like other than the above title.
In the neighborhood where I grew up there are quite a few foreign grocery stores and in particular there are a few Japanese ones. As a kid I remember my mom often taking my grandmother to one called Mitsuwa. It is super huge with a book store, a place to buy Japanese dishes, video rentals, food court, bakery, cosmetics counter, and, of course, groceries. It was great for my grandmother because she could buy groceries that reminded her of home hear her native language and pick up a Japanese newspaper or magazine. After she passed away, the rest of my family would still go to pick up a few goodies or to have sushi or something Japanese for lunch.
Visiting that store always felt like I had been transported to Japan. The Asian (primarily Japanese) customers, picking up essentials, the families speaking in a foreign tongue, the food that looked a bit unusual compared to the American staples like hamburgers, fries, Coca Cola.
And that is how I feel here...
Except, at home, I could walk out the front of the grocery store and re-enter the familiar suburban world I knew so well. So, tell me, can anyone tell me where the exit is? Or even what the word "exit" looks like? Because I feel as if I am trapped in the grocery store and its sprouting up rice paddies. I also cant find my car but even worse, people are driving on the wrong side of the street! And this foreign language... well its rather isolating to be illiterate and without much language ability.....
In a place where the tables are turned, I have a new found appreciation for the wonderful skill that is language learning, a supreme envy of those who are able to communicate effectively and with ease. I`m not unhappy with where I am but I do miss the comfort of being able to do things without depending upon another person for help. And sometimes, just sometimes I want so desperately to talk in English and eavesdrop on random conversations.
Now, I don't mean eavesdrop in the manner of juicy gossipy secrets, I mean.. the kind of eavesdropping one does when waiting to cross the street at the crosswalk and you happen to hear the loud person behind you telling some boring/funny/scary story to their friend. There something about that simple routine in daily life, that I miss.
I also miss hugs and having a friend pat me on the back. Its an odd sense of personal space the Japanese have. They are so forth right about so many things, for example I've had people comment about my acne or ask me straight out what my religion is, but personal space that bubble is sacred and to get passed that... to give someone a hug or pat them on the back, its a total no, no. (I fear I may have crossed a boundary at my school when I patted a coworker on the back, simply out of habit... awkward moment...)
I haven't a clue if this is culture shock, stage two or simple culture awareness going on. I want to leave this grocery store for just a little fresh, familiar air. I want to chuckle as the ladies behind me waiting to cross the street gossip about so and so doing such and such. I miss my friends hugging me hello or goodbye but I wouldn't have learned to appreciate these little things if I hadn't walked into the grocery store with no exit, in the first place.
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